Motherhood – a mile in my shoes

Could be considered a heavy topic to be throwing out there on Monday but Monday’s are the start of a new week. A time to get motivated, get focused and set the tone and priorities for the rest of the week. At least for me anyway. Otherwise you end of playing catch up – which is ok and happens all the time right? 

Plus I find after getting my cup filled on Sundays at church and taking a “break from the world” for a day, I get dialed in on what is really important. If I want to share little bits of me each Monday for the rest of this year, I feel it’s important that you know where I’m coming from and a little bit more about me. Who really cares what someone has to say unless you can know, understand, feel and connect with where that person is coming from. It’s like getting weight loss advice from someone who has always been skinny and never struggled in that area….most likely you wouldn’t connect as much with that person unless they’d “been there, done that“, right?
Often when I meet people or meet up with people (especially those who follow me on social media (instagram)) their comments to me lately are centered around 3 main topics. One of those is Motherhood. Here is what I’ve been hearing lately:
“You are such a fun mom!”
“You’re always doing fun stuff with your kids.”
“Because you shared something you did with your kids, it made me think I could do it too. So I did!” 
etc, etc… You get the idea.
Now I’m not sharing this to toot my own horn in any way. Honestly, it surprises me when I hear them. I don’t mind it but in the moment I shared it on Instagram it was just that, a moment for me. Sharing my day is something I really love to do through social media. A peek into my little corner of the world. These comments got me thinking about Motherhood and how maybe I approach it differently than others do. I don’t really know why I parent the way I do but I do know there have been a few key factors in my life that have influenced me. 
1) Losing a child. If you’ve been a long time follower or reader or heard me speak, you may have heard me mention this here or there. For a long time I didn’t know to answer the question, “So how many kids do you have?” It wasn’t a matter of including our child who had passed away in the number, it was a matter of “Do I want to go into that story right now? Or with this perfect stranger? how will they handle it? Will it be awkward?” Plus for a few years I held that experience so close to my heart I didn’t want to share it. I didn’t want to share her. I didn’t get enough time with her so I didn’t want to share it. It was mine. 
After a few more years passed it just got a little more natural. I matured from my life experiences and let them change me for the better. To mold me into who God needs me to be. The more I was open to sharing a little bit about it, the more I saw that I could instantly connect with someone. And maybe that was all they needed that day from someone. To know that someone else understood or feel like they could share their feelings, or ask questions. I had one of those heart tapping moments (as Nie Nie calls them) when I realized I was given this experience to share it. I had been blessed with a hard trial and given the chance to allow it help me grow wings in a sense. To fly higher than I thought I could, and help others build the strength in their own wings.
2) Reality smacked me in the face thanks to my Sister in Law. I wish I could remember the exact year it was when I was at my Sister in Laws and Brother in Laws house visiting. We were talking about kids growing up, etc and Summertime approaching and she said, “You know you only get 18 Summer with your kids. Make them count.”…...SMACK!!!! wait what???? It’s not a new concept by ANY means but having someone put reality right there in front of you with a deadline or END to childhood was like walking full force into a brick wall. That moment and saying has stuck with me ever since. And when you really think about it, you don’t get 18 Summers before they leave because starting at around 15(ish) they have camps, maybe even a job, summer school, drivers training, etc and they aren’t around very much.
These two experiences give me a different perspective. I get to choose everyday how I want to parent. And CHOOSE is the key word. I certainly don’t always make the best choices but luckily I’m not in any competition and luckily, I still am blessed to get a new day every 24 hours.

(source + free printable) 

There are childhood experiences that influence me as well along with how my Mom and Dad parented me. I’m just trying to do my best. I think we all are. I’m just trying to raise these little humans that have my whole heart and help them reach their potential…and make it a fun ride along the way!

So don’t worry about how “so & so” parents. Just focus on YOU and YOUR family.
What are some of the instances, events, things, sayings, etc that influence you as a Mother?

I’ll be sharing more on my experience of losing our daughter in the next coming weeks. You may have questions, hopefully they will be answered in those posts. Stay tuned….

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