The END & the BEGINNING – going into labor

Oh the emotions…..It’s still difficult to put into words how much this journey has meant to me. How perfectly orchestrated it all was….If you haven’t read the other posts about my experience being a gestational carrier be sure to check out part 1 & part 2. And for fun? How we announced it to everyone! I’ve shared different moments, thoughts and emotions as well on IG! check the feed!

I could’t leave the story “hanging”. It needs wrapping up.

And the labor story is sometimes the fun part to retell right?

The last month leading up to my due date was typcial. I was excited and nervous and anxious. Everyday hoping that “today was the day”. We had a induction scheduled the day before my due date so the parents could plan on a day and a time. I never go weeks early or anything and it was all following that same time line.

The weekend before my due date was Homecoming for our Teenage Daughter. Performance at the half time show that Friday night, day date on Saturday, hair appt, getting ready, being picked up by her date and pictures. Whew! All the fun that I didn’t want to miss. Although my body had been prepping the last month with braxton hicks – all was quiet. And I was happy about that. I didn’t want to miss these moments helping her get ready and all the fun that comes with a girl going to the Homecoming Dance.

(she’s a beauty!)

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Sunday arrived and I attended church and did my weekly responsibilities as Primary President (That is a volunteer position in my religion of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I am over the teaching of the kids in our area (or ward we call it) that are age 18months – 11yrs old. There are a little over 100 kids and over 50 adults that all help accomplish this task and privilege). Again, after 3 hours of church I was feeling normal and fine. 30 mins after church got out My husband, daughter and I were talking into a special meeting and my water broke!!!

It broke! I’ve never had my water break voluntarily before. I’ve always gone into labor and had my water broken at the hospital. Oh the fun that happened after that. Towels and laughing and disbelief – yet calmness. We got things squared away, I packed a bag – and changed clothes – ha ha ha – and we headed for the hospital!

(photo credit – Sabina Golder Photography)

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We were almost to the hospital when the contractions finally started and they were coming on quickly. 3-5 mins apart but not terribly painful. We got checked in and hooked up to the machines. Baby was on his way and so were the parents! I’ve done my previous 4 deliveries all natural – no drugs or meds – and wanted to do it that way again. But in the back of my mind I am thinking, “it’s been almost 9 years since I have done this and maybe I’m not as brave!” ha ha ha….

(photo credit)

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The nurses and staff that came in and out kept giving each other the “eye” about me doing it natural. Sort of in a way that was “Ok hunny, sure. You give it a try but we are sure you will want something for the pain any minute now.”  Or it was “Oh great! she’s going natural. We are all going to need earplugs for the screaming and the dramatics that are soon to follow.” Funny to watch (and yes even some of the fessed up to it later!)

I think everyone has their “thing” they do that is helpful during labor. I’m not sure why my thing is what it is – but it helps me make it through contractions.

1) I close my eyes. When I had my first baby my dr said “You can always tell when you are having a contraction because you get really quite and close your eyes.” I do! From my first delivery I have done this. Closing my eyes I think helps me focus. I just breathe and close my eyes and get through it. The opposite of what others do when it’s painful. They may get vocal – I get super quiet.

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2) I have to hold my husbands hand. Something about the stability…or transfer of support…I’m not sure. As the labor progresses and gets more intense I need his hand there grasping mine. Man do I love having him close when the contractions come on and are intense. It’s a team effort.

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(photo credit)

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3) When the contractions get super intense I need his forehead pressing on mine. Again, not sure why. I’m just cool like that I guess – ha ha ha… (and ps – I’ve never had any of my labors photographed and I love having these moments captured. Because ya know, my eyes are closed a lot of the time so it’s great to see it all from an outside perspective.  Sabina Golder did an amazing job!)

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(I sort of laugh at this picture because it seems like his job is “so hard” ….LOL! compared to mine right? #lovehim)

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Things progressed fairly quickly. I had some double contractions, some that went off the charts and  some that made me think “Holy crap! that hurt bad!!!!” My husband and daughter were a great support team. Our Teenage daughter wanted to be in the room. We’ve had lots of talks leading up to this moment. She’d taken a year of childhood development that prepped her for more than I was ever prepped for at her age! And we’ve been very open with her questions. And come on, how many teenagers get to (or want to) see their moms deliver a baby! We thought it was a once in a lifetime experience for her that she wanted. Next time she’s in a labor and delivery room it may be her in the bed in labor and me as the support team.

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2.5 hours after we arrived at the hospital  the baby was BORN!!!

Seeing this little perfect person for the first time was…… well there aren’t words. The first time I said was, “He has his Moms hair!” He was chubby too! About a pound bigger than the Dr.’s had predicted he would be. I said “Hey belly buddy. It’s nice to meet you….” Tears, emotions and relief…..

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Seeing the parents meet THEIR child is a heart overflowing moment. Again, there aren’t words. These moments were captured in photos and I’m so glad we had a photographer there to capture them for the parents. These first moments make me cry every time I see them or think about them. They are very special to them…and a private moment. For that reason the parents have asked I not share those here. They did give permission for me to share a picture of their son.

I’d like to introduce to you this little boy who just needed a little help getting here.

I am but a small blip in this life here on earth.

I believe we are here to help each other, serve each other and support others along their own journey.

And sometimes the “help” that is needed is to get a chance to come to earth.

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My husband and kids came to hospital to pick me up and everyone got to meet this little guy.

The boys thought it was great to meet the little person who had hiccups everyday the last couple of months in my belly. Who stretched and kicked around and made my belly make weird shapes.

We joked that we had the sprint and this parents had the marathon and that their little boy was the cutest “baton” to hand off! We also joked that we were glad they were taking him home and not us.

It’s great to be in a place in life when you are happy with the stage you are in.

We loved raising our kids.

We loved our time as a foster family.

We love the independent and fun stage they are in.

We love being where we are and are not pining for the baby stage. So glad THEY are ready for that.

So – our part in this journey comes to an end and a new life and journey begins for them…. my heart couldn’t swell any bigger at the thought of this….

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My husband and I did a facebook live answering a lot of FAQs we have gotten. It was fun to interact with you on there!

And thank you for all the advice, suggestions and virtual hugs you have sent me via IG as I asked for advice and more as I recovered those first few weeks.

Questions? Please feel free to reach out!

xoxo…..until the next adventure!